Good night friends

Good night friends

Before I say Good Night
Noone is here anyhow
Life is like a piano melodies
Good night, Joyce Hampton
You were there for me and your son
Shella......Christiane
Rebecca Haarison
Stanley West
Tommy West
Lillius Barrilar
Dianne was killed in her Honda Civic
Good night

This has been my inner voice tonight

The last key of a piano

No one will ever find this daly inner voice for sure
But, that is not my determination
I shall walk alone for as long as I can
Berlin, Vermont is where it was all started
An OK car seller, John Little, sold my wife and I a
Toyota Pick up Truck, 1994
Ever since I owe the bank
I don't know who is the owner
I might as well say Good Night
No one is reading anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has been my inner voice tonight
E-Albany, VT

Walk in a dream

Oh how beautiful it is
Wish you could be here with me
In this lonesome basement bedroom
Where the winter had left its prints
And, a mysterious sounds echo to my brain
Stimulate my soul and energy
Paul Bengston, my neighbor
is willing to do whatever he can
to help me find a residency
My life will then be completed!!!
A board certified physician....

This has been my inner voice tonight

Imagine

Imagine
I close my eyes
I hear a string of ensembles
The noisy dryer
and the memories of the past
The ones in California
The American parks
and the sad story of my dear friends
dying before they got to be young again
Souvalath and Toi
The winnd is gently blowing
I walk slowly into the Adoration
This is the last attempt
Imagine
Imagine
My last chance

This has been my inner voice tonight

B. John

The fire

The fire that is burning inside of me
Yet, I can't let it out
Like a gentle flower in a dirty pond
I am playing with a game that is
no long in fame
Still, like Bill Rodd,
I'm staying behind
While others screaming
It is me....it is me...
That was my dream
The water falling
from a crystal winter
A lawyer and his OCD wife
They live for their cat and dog
Still beneath the ocean
Billions of stories
have said over and over this path
This fire tonight
In the basement of a medical doctor
Life goes on
My neighbor, the CEO of our medical center
Snowshoeing......forever

This is my inner voice tonight

B. John

The common room

Here we are sitting in the common room of the Barn tonight. Ryan is playing his guitar, Tom with his PSP, Austin is ordering East Garden's scallion pancake, Allan and Yuan are manifested by their laptops, and I am typing this daily inner voice. Austin is now fixing a remote control which someone has torn aparts. Keith is joining us, sitting on a broken chair which Greame and Matt had rescued from the dumpster. He is swinging his feet, listening to Ryan struming his guitar. He is getting much better than when I first came to the Barn last year. He has grown so much since I had him in Physics. Speaking of Physics, Austin has just fixed the remote control. He is gifted in physics and computer technology. Everyone is gifted in his own way in the Barn.

As I write, Max and Brian have just came up the stairs carrying their laundry huge basket. They are noding their heads and smiling at me. "Did you have a nice weekend?" (There must be a dozen of freshman girls came to take them for the winter carnival the day before!). They replied with big smiles, "The weather was great."

Alvaro, Jae, James and the East Garden Andy are here too. "Good night," Andy said.

Al has just walked from a shower. Josh has gone to bed. Peter, Matt, Daniel, Matt, Kyle, Greame, Daniel, Harry.....are in their rooms.

Like a painting that is fading away little by little. Soon everyone will be gone. All the voices, the laughs, the sounds of the games, will ne fading away; leaving Mr. M and Mr. G here. Yes, we're a big family like the family I had in the orphanage. Our bond is strong. Forever the faded painting will still be in our hearts.

I must stop. The boys need to get ready for lights out at 10:45pm. This clock is incorrect!

Good night the princes of the Barn....

This is my daily inner voice

The temple

The temple is trumbling down
In three days it will rise again
Despite it took over 46 years to rebuild
Faith is all you need
Sitting here by your side
Where have you been?
All those years
All these years
What do you hear?
Deep within your heart
Deep within your soul
In searching for the truth
The temple shall rise forever

This is my daily inner voice from the Barn tonight

Back on track

Back on track once again
Two days have gone by
Living day by day
flying high above the sky
living as if we're going to die tomorrow
learnibg as if we're going to live forever
Mahamed Gandhi, a great teacher said


This is my daily inner voice from the Barn

Rest in peace, Toy

My dearest friend, Toy
It was sad that you had to go away
fade away from this existence
I will always remember you
and what you've done for our Kmhmu people
At least that's what we knew best
We did what we could
To pass on forward
Our language, culture and traditions
Rest in peace, my dearest friend
Don't worry about us in this world
Your wife and children are well
May you move on to a new world
the world that will give you happiness
as this is what we would want to achieve in this world
in this existence
Go my friend, go and move on with your life
I will be here in this world for as long as I could
I need to get back to medicine
If you can, perhaps you can bless me
Ask God to give strength needed to become a board certified physician
I left my photocopies of my graduation photos and degree for you to see, Toy
For you to see what I have done for you
Because of your love for our Kmhmu people
I didn't give up for you
I brought back the Medical Doctorate and Master of Health Services Administration for you to see
I left the copies in your cofin for those distinguish guests of yours to witness
What you had done, to help the first Kmhmu-Lao-American to become a medical doctor in the United States
I didn't mean for you to harm me or take the priviledge I have
I need to go all the way, my dear friend
I need to become a board certified physician
You must allow this venue to happen for me,
for our Kmhmu people
As I am their hope, Toy
You must believe in me
You must not stop me
I need you to help me to reach our dream
Please acknowledge my degrees
and please bless me to on forward, Toy
Please rest in peace and move to your new life, my dearest friend....
So long....I will always remember you for as long as I live.....
Goodbye my friend.......I'll check on your wife and children....

This is my inner voice for Mr. Toy Vongnapeth, the former Director of the Kmhmu Family Association of Massachusetts, Inc. from 1985 to 2006.

A Prayer for the Week

Dear God, this is the day that you have made,
and I am so grateful to be a part of it.
This is a day unlike any other day,
and I am so grateful for this opportunity to begin again.
This is the day I will place myself totally in your care.
This is the day that I will use to serve you in faith and joy.
This is the day that I am free.
I declare that I am free of fear.
Free of doubt.
Free of anger.
Free of shame.
Free of guilt.
Free of unproductive thoughts and actions.
This is the day, God.
Your day. My day.
And for this day I am so very, very grateful. Amen.

from the chapel in Jackson Park Medical Center, Chicago, Illinois, USA

Good night

Good night Lilah
Good night Salem-Hieng
Good night Dearest Dear Vicki
Good night Maya
Good night Melanie
Good night house
Good night
all the little mouses
Good night my school's laptops
Good night my students
Good night St. Johnsbury Academy
Good night everyone
Good all tennis players
Good night

Good night
May God be with you
Bless you with strength
Provide you with love
Bring out the best in you
For the night is getting late
I shall wish you all the best
Good night

Good night world
Good night universe
Good night this existence
GOOD NIGHT

This is my inner voice tonight
Good night
B John

Dr. and Mrs. Kit and Becky Vongsa

It was good to see Kit and his wife, Becky this past week. This was the first time we have seen them since their wedding on July 14, 2007 in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. Kit is like a brother. I met him in medical school. He was one of the fews who came from Laos. Along with us were Stephen Vang and Mona. During the first semester at Ross University School of Medicine in Dominica, we didn't spend as much time with Mona. She was two semesters ahead of us. Since Kit and Stephen came from the same state of Wisconsin, they were roomates in motel adjacent to the campus. After Kit, Stephen and other Asian students visited me in my apartment; they convinced me to move into 2 rooms down from them in the motel. Kit and I used to spend a lot of time together in the library or empty classroom studying. He really knew his stuffs, but somehow I found it difficult to understand him or anyone in medical school. I was in my own world. Looking back it was almost impossible to study medicine. My mind was with my wife and two little daughters in East Albany, Vermont. I missed and worried about them very much. I wished they were there with me. Neil Fromm was our next door neighbor in East Albany, I remember writing letter to him. There were nights when Kit and I used to go over a bridge from the motel into the ocean. We would laid down and looked up the billions stars. I remember telling Kit, "Someday when we look back we will remember these beautiful memories." Yes, those stars, tiny glowed fishes, the wavery ocean surface and gentle wind (sometime cool enough to wish for a sweater) were memories that I shall remember for as long as I am capable of remembering.

Dr. Kit Vongsa is a successful board certified physician now in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. He is doing urgent care medicine. Dr. Becky Vongsa, his wife, has just completed her PhD in cellular biology. She is also doing very well in her career. They're making a good living financially. I took them to Boston, to get lobster and to give money to my niece, Bouakham, to take to my older sister Boun when she goes to Laos in 2 weeks. I showed them Lowell, Boston, Brockton and Cambridge. It was a good trip. Vicki and the girls were too busy and tired to join us. They would have been very tired. By the time we arrived home on Saturday night, it was 1:20am on Sunday already. Then, they had to catch their flight in Burlington, Vermont at 7:45am. We had to get up at 4:00am in order to be in the airport on time. Everything worked out well despite the fact that the clock in the USA had to spring forward an hour ahead. This means we lost an hour of time.

Seeing Kit inspired me to work harder in my USMLEs although I've been very tired lately. I had to also work in the dorm yesterday. The chair man of the science came to observe my chemistry also yesterday. Not to mention, the informational meeting after school yesterday before going on to dorm duty. I didn't get home until 11:30pm. Today after school I was a science fair judge at Good Shepard where Melanie goes to school. She was one of the contesters, but I didn't have her on my list. When I got home afterward, I was crashed in bed for at least 2 hours. Dear came home. I was too tired to prepare any meal. I just slept until the time to train Melanie in tennis at the Old Mill.

Life is good. I've been living my life clean although I've been eating at least 2 portions for lunch daily. It is tempting to take the first EtOH, but I have had no need for it. Good has been very good to me and my family. I was able to speak to my sister, brother and mother in Oklahoma this weekend. In all, I will buckle down and study starting tomorrow morning.

Good night.

This is my inner voice today. May you always find peace in your life, B John

Good day sun shine

It is a beautiful Sunday. We've just finished our last lunch with Yuan. It is hard to believe it has been over a week alreay since he has been homestaying with us. In a few minutes we'll take him back to the Barn. Hope he has had a restful week with us. He has been sleeping until noon, and someday even passed noon. We've done our best to provide him a good home. At least he is no ill. I believe he is ready to go back to school.